Wednesday, August 16, 2006

OK, 5 bucks to the first person with verifiable photo evidence of a working* helper monkey.

"What?" I hear you ask (after the laughter has died down).

NM gets the credit for this, because I saw it on her blog. Well, not exactly on her blog---she just had a link.

But here's the real deal. Direct from the TSA website.

"Monkey Helpers

* When a monkey is being transported in a carrier, the monkey must be removed from the carrier by the handler prior to screening,
* The monkey must be controlled by the handler throughout the screening process.
* The monkey handler should carry the monkey through the WTMD while the monkey remains on a leash.
* When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.
* Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.
* TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.
* TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.
* The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection. "

I read this at about 8 am...and have been chuckling ever since. I dare you to read that directive, and not do the same. Really. Think about it.
Earlier today, NM expressed her preference for a helper dog, not helper monkey. But think about how much fun a helper monkey could be! I mean, the wardrobe possibilities are endless. For you and your monkey!

* Not a photoshopped monkey. Not some fake helper monkey from a mobility website. A real live (important!), working helper monkey. Preferably at a US airport.


Blogger nm said...

Ask and ye shall receive.

Jason Kottke from and his helper monkey.

You can pay me on friday evening. ;)

1:09 AM  
Blogger jk said...

i am not quite sure that qualifies. That monkey does not look capable of helping do anything, except mess up a room. And he is certainly not at an airport.

Jury is out on this one. I tried to search and find something that explains just "how" that monkey is helping, but nada.

in closing, i believe that monkey may be a helper, but he is not a "helper monkey." Wouldn't he have to wear an identifying vest, like the dogs? And the helper pony I saw?

8:53 AM  

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